Teenage Lesbian: Part 3

Sam slips into the bathroom, shuts the door, and grabs her father’s razor and shaving cream. Piece by piece she strips, then perches on the tub’s edge and shaves with careful, uncertain strokes. Days later she hides in her bedroom, eyes fixed on muted pornography while her fingers work between her legs; she bites her lip, keeps every moan inside, and shudders when she comes. Outside school, she finally approaches Teresa, asks to walk her home, chats about albums and movies all the way to the porch. On the weekend they share coffee, then Sam blurts that she wants Teresa for a girlfriend. Teresa goes still, smiles kindly, explains she likes boys and only boys. That night Sam sits alone on her front step, tears sliding down her chin. Next afternoon she sneaks into a lesbian youth meeting with Meg, heart hammering until the door clicks behind them. Inside she watches the group leader speak about acceptance and self-worth; her shoulders loosen. Back home she tries to watch the same tape again, but it jams and she buries it in the outside bin. In the counselor’s office she mentions her queerness for the first time. The woman leans in, curious, and Sam talks until the words start to feel like power. Later she masturbates under the sheets and drifts into fantasy—naked girls from the center tangled together, mouths pressed to open thighs, hips grinding in rhythm. She stands before the mirror, bare-chested, studying her body without shame, and drops the crumpled duct tape into the trash. At lunch the next day Sarah slides onto the bench beside her. JC notices the charged glances, excuses himself. Alone now, Sarah asks Sam out. A tiny, sure smile curves Sam’s mouth as she says yes. She has stopped hiding the girl she has always been, and tonight she intends to let Sarah see every inch.