Teenage Lesbian: Part 3

Sam shuts the bathroom door. She pulls her father’s razor and foam from the drawer, then strips naked. Perched on the edge of the tub, she runs the blade slowly over her skin. A few nights later she’s on her bed, one ear on the hallway, one hand inside her shorts. The porn flick flickers across the screen as she rubs herself, soft moans caught behind tight lips until her thighs clench and she comes. The next afternoon she finds the nerve to approach Teresa at the school gate. They walk home together, talking music and movies. Sam asks her out for the weekend and Teresa says yes. Coffee first, then the movie. As they linger outside the café Sam blurts that she wants Teresa to be her girlfriend. Teresa stops her gently; she likes boys. That night Sam sits on the front steps, quietly crying. Meg takes her to the community center the next day. Sam keeps her hood up until Meg sneaks her through the back. Inside, the girls are easy with each other. Sarah from school is there too. The leader talks about the group’s purpose—being eighteen to twenty-one, learning to own who they are—and Sam feels the tightness in her chest ease. A few days later the VHS jams. Sam yanks the tape free, smothers it in a pillow, and carries it out to the trash. Her guidance counselor calls her in about college. When Sam mentions she’s gay, the woman lights up with clumsy enthusiasm. Sam talks anyway, and the words feel lighter once they’re out. That night under the covers she touches herself again, picturing the women at the center naked and tangled, hips rolling, mouths open. In the mirror she studies her bare chest without shame. The duct tape she used to flatten herself lands in the bin. At lunch the following day Sarah slides onto the bench beside her and JC. The two girls trade looks until JC excuses himself. Sarah asks if Sam plans to return to the group. When Sam shrugs, Sarah suggests they go out, just the two of them. Sam smiles for the first time in weeks.